Wednesday, July 04, 2007
yesterday and today i wanted to say alot of things, but i'm not sure if i can rmb all now :)but i shall try. and i'm sorry, but i'm gna be pretty direct.
please, don't. you're no trouble. its just a concern for a dear friend. its horrible to see another wasted life like that. i've seen enough of lives being wasted, either by death or attitude its the same. but yeah, don't add to the list. be a sucessful one can?
okay so maybe i haven't been through what you've been through, but one thing i know is that.. you've come up till now. 15years. or maybe less. you've survived. and you're gna give up now? i'm sorry to say, but that dosen't speak very highly of you. i want to think of you as the girl who has been so brave and courageous to face facts and yeah. look, if you can emerge from this stronger, you'll definately be a finer character than anyone else at your age. it has been painful, i can imagine. but there's something called forgive and forget. you're the one controlling your mind, no one else. you can either choose to forgive and forget, or you can hold on to the horrible memories. its not that easy yeah, but it can be done.
so, you want to end it all. and then? i don't know if today's devotions went through your mind. but yup, so whats gna happen after that? can you garuntee a better life after that? no more pain or sorrows? happiness forever? now who told you that? who has garunteed you?
you say you can't do it on your own anymore. you wonder who's your hope. i cantell you one thing: CHRIST. believe, why can't you? i've seen people who have been so rebelious towards the religon but their hearts change after a while, and you never know how happy am i for them. i want to feel the same way for you. you made me wait for 3years.. and you want my wait to never have a stop? or, have stop knowing that what i wish for the very most for the past three years just end like that? i'm being very honest here. i've never said this to anyone except for a dear friend so yeah, appreciate this, me typing it out here. actually i don't care anymore, its time you know what has been happening.
so yeah, i am anon. its no one else but me. i don't know why but i like being anon. so, why can't you give yourself a chance? give Christ a chance? do you know that He has been waiting beside you all the time, waiting for you to just cast all your burdens to Him. its been tiring yeah, doing, fighting this battle on your own. don't you think its rather silly, to be struggling there while there's actually someone there beside you waiting for you to cast the burdens. its really such a relief you know.
maybe my stuff isn't that bad as yours. but take PASSIONE as an example. haha if you don't know, the concert was really screwed. we just couldn't get so many pieces right, the bass wasn't playing correctly, everyone was just so mad and tired, many felt like giving up. for myself, as a senior too, i was really tired and everything just seemed to bleak. we weren't even prepared last thursday lah. you know how freaky is that. whats more with the pressure of SCGS being better than us. but the very moment i said "okay Lord, i'll just cast everything, the whole of passione into your hands, whatever happens is your will and i'll just trust" and really, it felt like a whole load of burden fell off me. and by God's grace our practice amazingly went nearly perfect the very next day. and of course, even though to the audience scgs might have seemed like better, we were truly satisfied with ourselves. to me, PASSIONE was a test of faith and endurance. for you, i am certain, that God's calling out to you now, He's been waiting.. for 15years too. i only responded 13years later, and i really want you to respond too. i don't know how, but there's this inward joy that keeps wanting to burst out.
although your past may have affected you a lot, as i said you can choose to slowly not rmb it. plus, you can concentrate on the happy things. give yourself a goal. sure you may have failed to accomplish your previous goals.. then that gives you a new and fresh start to another goal. come on, we'll always give you our fullest support :) you have never been a burden, just a very strong concern and we really want the best for you. i don't want another death. i've had enough of hearing people die. what's more, you're my friend. all the more i don't want you to die. and i want you to experience the goodness of life with Christ with you by your side before you die.
what's your purpose in life? well i know for mine is to seek, serve and follow Christ and to learn.
let my top wish be finally answered, and, i wanna see you in school tml. i'm waiting. and i believe, that everything's gna be okay. and you have to believe that too. you'll always be in my prayers :)
i hope you read this.
btw lipin, i realized we haven't been doing Bible study :/ start tml? in the physics lab hahahaha
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i love these people :) though you've made me (&others) cry, there's been the mad times, though not as countless as performing group 06<3.>
& we're gna make mghandbellchoir08 a bigger blast right! :D